From the Dwarf Fortress Epic, BoatMurdered:
Locus posted:
Oh. Prepared food? So these are some kind of dainty fancypants dwarves that don't sit in the dark and gnaw on cold mushrooms?
That seems undwarflike.
TouretteDog posted:
It's dwarf bread, man. The cat peed on it, and it doubles as a lethal throwing weapon.
Locus posted:
That makes sense. I bet it menaces with spikes of bread too.
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12th Limestone, 1052: One of my jewelers was possessed during early summer. It is now Autumn, and only now did I figure out what he was asking for: raw crystal glass. I got it made for him with a bit of effort, and he took that and several rough gems and made an amulet called gNecroclearings.h It sure has a lot of spikes.
Ugithdostob AKA "Necroclearings"
This is a red spinel amulet.All craftdwarfship is of the highest quaility. This object menaces with spikes of red spinel, aquamarine, crystal glass and green glass.
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I am worried about the future of our fortress, namely that the next rulers will not be as security-minded as I am. So I shall flood the chasm with magma/lava, and kill all the unnamed horrors within.
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An Elven Caravan has arrived, and their friendship with nature seems to have protected them from the grazing elephants. I do not know the state of our crafts and tradegoods, but bins are being sent to the Trade Depot in preparation.
We traded a Talc ring for five berries. Personal note: I grow to hate Elves more and more as time passes. Still somewhat low on food, I have ordered several elephants put up for slaughter.
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I have used some of our steel to create glassworking shops, as well as an additional smelter. This will speed up metal production a great deal. Unfortunately, although the reclusive glassworking dwarf has claimed a standard glass furnace, he has not found all that he requires to build. I suspect that he is missing a turtle shell, and have asked those at the fishery to start processing fish in case one turns up. I find it hard to believe there are no shells in this entire fortress, so perhaps it is a specific type of rare glass he seeks.
[Shot of the workers profile that lists his likes as "Battleaxes, idols and demons, for their terrifying features.]
All for naught it seems. He has gone insane and wanders the halls babbling with a depressed look on his face. Perhaps it was for the best though, as he seemed to have an unhealthy interest in demons and strange idols. *Note* He later drowned beneath the main drawbridge entrance.
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Boatmurdered. Even if you don't play DF, it's worth a read.
Warning, some of the rulers of Boatmurdered swear profusely even in their logbooks. You have been warned.
