Canon Fodder

  • April 20, 2024, 06:24:53 AM
  • Welcome, Guest
Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

REGISTRATION DISABLED due to spam. Please contact staff via email or IM.

Pages: [1]   Go Down

Author Topic: Funny stories  (Read 5132 times)

Fox

  • Guest
Funny stories
« on: October 05, 2008, 07:33:00 PM »

'Cause there's a lot of tales that just don't quite fit the "Stupidest Things" thread. :3

Granted not every story I tell will be about cats..but nobody was around to witness the awesome, and it was just too darn funny not to share.

First off..I have an evil cat named Orion. Remember Orion? I think I posted a picture of her, somewhere.....anywho. On to the story!

There was this orange cable laying on the floor, stretching from the kitchen to the living room. She was a little frightened of the cable at first, but Fox finally decided she was going to lay down on the cable in the kitchen. I couldn't just let her lay there, so I grabbed the opposite end, and jerked it from underneath her. Needless to say, she went flying. If that didn't spook her enough, she landed on Orion's belly. She got a little more hangtime from that one.

She hasn't gone near the thing all day.
Logged

Faith

  • Guest
Re: Funnies
« Reply #1 on: October 06, 2008, 06:55:00 PM »

Hehehe...   ;D

Does "Funnies" mean general funnies, or does it have to apply to you, somehow?
Logged

Fox

  • Guest
Re: Funnies
« Reply #2 on: October 07, 2008, 07:00:00 AM »

It means I couldn't come up with a decent title that late at night. XP

Any funny story ya' might have. :3
Logged

Faith

  • Guest
Re: Funny stories
« Reply #3 on: October 21, 2008, 07:00:00 PM »

'Kay, finally something worth telling... XD

Well, um... have you ever heard of accidental vandalizing of opposing school's property?

Neither did I.
That was until my bad aim was combined with an apple core and the opposing volley-ball team's school bus in the parking lot, earlier tonight.
Yeah... it was... pretty bad...
So, as you can imagine, I was quite eager to escape the crime scene, before catching notice.
Logged

Fox

  • Guest
Re: Funny stories
« Reply #4 on: October 22, 2008, 10:06:00 AM »

*snrk*

My dad threw an apple core at a port-o-potty, once. Of course...he did it on purpose. Not sure if somebody was in it or not, but we didn't stay long enough to find out. x3
Logged

Faith

  • Guest
Re: Funny stories
« Reply #5 on: October 22, 2008, 06:21:00 PM »



Heh.   ;D

That's wonderful.   :P
Hm... I have tales of cruelty in the form of pranks, in my youth... >.<
Some of them were really bad. *Regrets...*   :(  

Trade of my stories for one of yours?

My neighbor was younger than I... oh that poor, hopeless kid...
He was the focus of our pranks, my sister and I, when I was a cruel eight year-old... >.<

One shall be remembered as the Barnie incident...
He asked me to draw a purple dinosaur on his back, where he couldn't see it!!! Honestly, how could I resist? Well, it's obvious how I could've... but then that's where the cruel eight year-old kicked in... >.<
I made up with it for a real dragon... ':D
Logged

Fox

  • Guest
Re: Funny stories
« Reply #6 on: October 25, 2008, 08:28:00 AM »

I like shopping with my mom.

K. So last year, if you recall, I had that ick. I lost enough weight to wear I needed a new belt. So today, I wanted to go to Hot Topic. Nana hates that store, but just as we were walking out, Mom said "Hey, let's go!"

So we went. I picked out the belt I liked, and Nana hated it. My mom walked over there, picked it up, and said "Oo..I like this one." So that's the one I got.

We then went to Famous Footwear, where I pointed at some Spider-Man socks. (yes, my size) Nana hated them. My mom said "Those are cute."

Heh..shame we don't get to go shopping but once every five years. :3
Logged

Faith

  • Guest
Re: Funny stories
« Reply #7 on: October 25, 2008, 12:40:00 PM »

*Laugh!!!* XD

Nah, only once in five years?   :P  

Hm...
'Kay, here's something from GCF:

Talking Clock

A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a
couple of his friends extremely late one night. He led the way to his
bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.

"What's with that big brass gong?" one of the guests asked.

"It's not a gong. It's a talking clock," the drunk replied.

"A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend.

"Yup," replied the drunk.

"How's it work?" the friend asked, squinting at it.

"Watch," the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave
the gong an ear-shattering pound, and stepped back. The
three stood looking at one another for a moment.

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed,
"You idiot! It's one-fifteen in the morning!"
Logged

bloodreaper

  • Guest
Re: Funny stories
« Reply #8 on: October 26, 2008, 09:20:00 AM »

Here's a story from a little over a year ago, when I was fighting fire out of Elko Nevada.

The crew was spending the day in town, waiting for a call, to avoid another dull day at base, and I was walking to the library, where I could enjoy air conditioning, internet conectivity, and maybe a chapter of the samurai epic, Musashi.

On the way there, I was accosted by a drunken, Irish miner. I'm not making this up.

He insisted that I sit down and chat with him a spell. Seeings that this guy was about three times my size, with a tendency to sway,  mutter and brag on his mighty warrior ancestors, I decided not to argue with him. You never know where you stand with drunk guys, and even swaying, this one moved like a veteran brawler.

So, I sat down on the curb and talked about the meaning of life with this guy for a spell. He seemed to be shocked that someone as young as me was serving on the fire line, but then admitted to having done a few seasons on the line himself. It's not a line of work I would actively wish on anyone, so I guess I can see his position.

Anyway, much to my relief, a fire engine shortly pulled up, to carry me away on a new assignment in Utah.

"Who was that guy?"

"Some drunk, Irish miner."

"You really shouldn't hang out with drunk Irish miners. They're pretty unpredictable."

"That's why I decided it was best to just go with it. I didn't want to upset him."

"So, how was the library?"

"Man, I never even got there."
Logged

Faith

  • Guest
Re: Funny stories
« Reply #9 on: October 26, 2008, 06:18:00 PM »

*Laugh!!!*   :D

That... is great... XD

It's weird when drunk people talk to you all "serious-like" 'bout stuff. O.o
Kinda creepy. 'Specially when you don't know them. I don't tend to look fondly at those times, for the most part; but then none of them were drunken Irish miners.   ;D

Hm... seeing as the topic continues to be drunks... well, let us simply say that I have a couple interesting stories of this variety. Ironic, considering how much I despise alcohol.   :P

The best one, off the top of my head, I was not even witness to. However I myself will always find it humorous.

It involves my Grandmother. Weird, huh? Anyway...
When she was younger, and my Mother and Aunt were still living with her, she had gone a little heavy on the liquor, one night. At the time, they were living very close to some others, who would have been sleeping at the hour in the morning they were to return home, and they would have to get by those neighbors, on foot. This meant that my Mom and Aunt had to keep my Grandma quiet.
Well... this was not beginning to look like anything of success. My Grandma was not willing to keep her voice down, or even avoid getting seen by the neighbors, and therefor probably frightening them. When my Mom and Aunt tried to tell her this, she just yelled in response, so the whole hillside would hear...
"They can't see me!!! I'm invisible!!! !!! !!!"
Logged
Pages: [1]   Go Up