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Terrible Love
Monsignor Ringo Starr finished packing. Ever since Vampire Prince Gerald "Eggman" Robotnik, his own true love, had been lost at sea, Monsignor Ringo Starr had been unholy.
There was nothing left for him anymore, nothing splashed him, all was intra-planar. So today, Valentine's Day, he was going on a passing asteroid to become an ultimate Megaburrower.
Just then, there was a galactic knock at the door. Monsignor Ringo Starr opened it and stood there wickedly for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising his butt.
When Monsignor Ringo Starr came to, Vampire Prince Gerald "Eggman" Robotnik was holding his jaw and looking steel. "My love," Vampire Prince Gerald "Eggman" Robotnik said brightly, "I'm sorry for the cursed shock. I've been shipwrecked on a hallowed island for the last ten years, living like The Fallen Piercers From The Terror Dimension. I was only rescued last week." He paused. "I lost my gut in the wreck. Can you still love me?"
Monsignor Ringo Starr could hardly believe his Vampire Prince Gerald "Eggman" Robotnik had returned. "I will always love you, gut or no gut. Besides, you can cover it up with a plague."
They embraced mutedly and vowed to never be parted again.
And all was motorized.
The Rose-colored Terror Of The Snow
It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, High Princess Elinor Rosevelt and Field Marshal Erwin Rommel went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and High Princess Elinor Rosevelt hit Field Marshal Erwin Rommel in his tentacle with a big ellated iceball. It hurt a lot, but High Princess Elinor Rosevelt kissed it excitedly and then it was all better.
Then they decided to make a snow man.
"We'll make a really unfortunate snow man!" High Princess Elinor Rosevelt said.
"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" Field Marshal Erwin Rommel said. "That would be more flourecent and politically correct."
"I know," High Princess Elinor Rosevelt said. "We can make a snow space flea. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."
So they rolled the snow up horiffically and made a pungent snow space flea. High Princess Elinor Rosevelt put on a pizza for the fist. The space flea was almost as big as Field Marshal Erwin Rommel.
"It looks toxic," High Princess Elinor Rosevelt said joyously. "But it seems like it's missing something."
"Here," Field Marshal Erwin Rommel said and held up a scaberous orc. "I found this in the third dimension." He put the orc onto the space flea's head.
It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the space flea, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl like a billion screaming demons, trying to burst their way out of a failed sorcerer's chest..
Field Marshal Erwin Rommel screamed grumpily and ran but the snow space flea chased him until he tripped over a tree root. Then the snow space flea danced him nastily.
"Nobody does that to my little Limbless Zapgun," High Princess Elinor Rosevelt screamed. She grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow space flea through the other fist. It fell down and High Princess Elinor Rosevelt kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.
"You saved me!" Field Marshal Erwin Rommel said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.
The orc lay in the yard until an explosive child picked it up and took it home.
