Canon Fodder
Archive => Archive => [ARCHIVED] Off-topic => Topic started by: bloodreaper on January 21, 2009, 12:00:00 PM
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The Dwarf Fortress Forums bring us this tidbit, ostensibly from the Gospel of Toady:
"An excerpt from Toady 2:12
A weeping child lay slumped over his keyboard. Toady one put a hand on his shoulder and asked him, "why do you cry, child?" The boy continued to weep, and said "It's the carp, they have killed all of my dwarves." Toady looked upon him compassionately and said unto him "Ah, but you must learn, my son. Losing is fun."
This lesson of wisdom served the boy well. Later in his life he lost an eye in a terrible mining accident, but he just smiled, because he was having fun."
That's pretty much everything you need to know about the life of a Fortress Dwarf.
That and that no matter how valuable it is, a dwarf with a fear of spiders will never like a carving of himself surrounded by spiders. Especially if you put his bed next to it.
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*Laugh!!!* XD
Nice... :P :D
Yeah. Their philosophy might be all nice and... optimistic... but I'm glad I don't have fun by losing my eyes... XP ;D
Hahaha. I find people's fear of spiders amusing, sometimes (within limits of consideration... XD ) but that would be hilarious. :D
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The more you mention that game....the more I want to just download it now, even at the risk of killing my computer.
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If you do, and you're worried about it not running, I suggest turning off Weather and Temperature, at least until you're sure it'll at least run.
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Bah! Fire the thing up in the vanilla settings.
If it runs smoothy: Rock on!
If it runs too slow, turn off weather and temperature. This'll make the game run much faster, at the expense of dwarves being able to swim in magma, and water never freezing/thawing.
If the game runs fine until the population reaches a certain point, and then slows to a crawl, designate your major hallways, trail and roads as high traffic areas. This lowers the CPU cost of most pathfinding considerably.
Building a cage building and stuffing all your extra critters into it helps cut down on pathfinding a lot, too. They just wander around anyway.
--and people who are afraid of spiders are never funny.
--unless you carve pictures of them, surrounded by giant, venomous, cave spiders, on the walls of their bedroom. Then, they are hilarious.
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You are a cruel and sadistic fortress ruler.
You amuse me.
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That one wasn't actually me.
I learned you could do that at the Bay12 discussion forum, from a dude who discovered that it worked, by doing it by accident. --to his mayor.
Even the elite modders were surprised to find that what the drawings where effect how your dwarves react to them. Previously, it was believed that only the quality and material effected dwarves. Hidden fun stuff, indeed.
Apparently, dwarves will allow their friends' and families' fears to inspire their artwork. Hundred of years from now, when archeologists unearth the goblin stormed ruins of you city, they will find elaborate carvings depicting your engraver's wife's fear of purring maggots. She won't have been pleased.
Another poster said that his tailor decorated all his pieces with pictures of his wife surrounded by spiders. He had been wondering why it was so hard to get her to buy new clothes, but it all makes sense, with the proper knowledge.
I am, however, building a drowning pit for my goblin prisoners of war.
I still need to find a way to keep the bowgoblins from shooting at their executioners, as cage traps to not disarm captured enemies.
I wish I had lava at this site. That would make goblin disposal much easier...
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Mirror? What's mirror...and which one should I download?
I downloaded one..no, really. Mirror 1. I..I'm completely confused. D:
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The mirror servers all offer the same file for download, the file just comes off of a different server, to keep the bandwidth costs for each server reasonable. Each mirror mirrors the functions of the others.
Once that download finishes you'll have the whole game, in a compressed .zip folder. Step one is complete.
2. Unzip the compressed folder to your hard drive (download WinRAR if you don't have a .zip extraction utility) and run "DwarfFort.exe"
3. Boggle at the complexity and strangeness of the game you just launched.
4. "Press 'Enter' to Create World"
5. Get used to ASCII graphics, or go to the wiki for alternate character and graphics sets.
6. Get eaten by a goldfish.
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Careful, by the way, WinRar sent out a warning email about a fake...
Getting eaten by goldfish isn't an option, by the way--it will happen, sooner or later.
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Those aren't options; they're steps.
Just remember that having half of your city's population gobbled up by overpowered, aquatic life is part of what make losing fun.
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*Laugh!!!* :D
Hahaha.
The sadistic ruler bit is great... XD
Hm... I got the game, but haven't been able to play it much... :P
(It's "crunch time" in Robotics.)
So I have yet to have fatalities as a result of goldfish. XD
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I didn't run into the dreaded bowlfish of death, until my sixth fortress.
I built a bridge across the river, only to have my bridge building crew eaten by fish.
eventually, they wore me down to two dwarves, but I managed to recover and build a thriving city.
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*Snrk!*
If I ever get a goldfish, I now will have to dub it The Dreaded Bowlfish of Death... XD
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Goldfish don't bother me I had a dwarf kill one with his bare hands. (after it ate six other dwarves) I built him a throne and he ruled until the day he starved to death because he would get up and eat. :'(
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If you kill them as soon as they arrive, they aren't too much trouble, but they swim constantly, and leveling up your swim skill raises your strength and agility. That means that if you leave the little guys alone and give them time to train, they become night invincible.
--and my complements on knowing how to treat a war hero. I wonder if one of the other dwarves managed to gouge it's eyes out, beforehand, or something. Normally, you need a ranged weapon to survive a goldfish encounter, as they drag you into the water and drown you.
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the real trick was that the dwarf had a fey mood and made a helmet. The helmet must have kept him alive because he should have drowned but didn't. The helmet was the only difference
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So, he just climbed out of the water afterward?
I wasn't even sure that fortress dwarves did anything other than wait for exhaustion to kill them, if they found themselves in water. I've been meaning to test it out, to be sure, but I was under the impression that that part of the AI wasn't implemented yet. Hidden fun stuff, indeed.
Could artifact helmets give a bonus to swim scores? --or even prevent drowning? It's the kind of thing Bay12 would put in, and them not tell anyone about.
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His helmet was the only thing he had that the others didn't.
That was my least successful fortress it lasted less than a season. It got ate by angry elephants. they are not nice. (they taste funny too) :-[
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Elephants can be nasty, if you tick them off, though I'm told they were even more aggressive in the 2d version.
Google BoatMurdered, if you're interested, and haven't seen it yet.
Elephants murdering dwarves. Dwarves melting elephants. Lava burning everything, forever.
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boatmurdered is what killed me. i saw elephants and armed everyone and said kill them. then we became elephant lunch. when i tried to recolonize elephants chased us and we died again. they are mean.
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Once you've harmed an elephant the whole herd becomes aggressive.
Like the leaders of Kogusan, you bit off more than you could chew.
Of course, the first several leaders kept the beasts at bay, it was when the trappers all got re-assigned to hauling that the elephants overwhelmed the defenses and forced the dwarves to use the first nuke.
Once you build a nuke in a succession game, you can expect to see a lot of elves, upset over the forests that get burned down.
Thankfully, you can just melt them.